Thursday, December 16, 2010

"I" "you"


I use to pretend I am what they think I am
I use to do what they think is cool
I use to be the person I am not
I am not who you think I am

I pretend I am cool
I pretend I am great
I use to think I’m doing it right
I know realize I was a fool

I wish it's not too late
I wish I still have the chance to change
I wish people accept me who I am
I wish I am who really the person in me

You use to tell me
I am the one
You use to tell me
I am your world

You are now on someone elses arm
I am alone with no body to hold
You are making her smile
I am crying all night

That was you
And this is me
Funny to remember who we use to be
Made me cry to know you are far away

*** too cold and its 12:20 am, I cant sleep so I woke up and took my laptop hoping I can write something. Wishing I wont waste my time.. hehe

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Bernadette Series III
"A Letter From Malaysia"
Stephanie Choi
dedicated to balqis of Malaysia

It was her first time to set foot in an Asian soil and thanks god its not summer in Malaysia.

She arrived earlier than her scheduled time. She's expecting the person who will pick him to be five minutes late. But she was wrong, there she saw a guy in black suit standing there with her name on the card board he's holding.

He don't look like the average south east Asian when it comes to height, and that is so obvious since he stands few inch taller than those who are around him.
She waves at him as she walks towards his direction. She tried to smile as sweet as she can but the man never return a smile.

“Hello I’m Bernadette Mallore” as irritated as she is, she still manage to give him a sweet greeting.

“Hello, I’m Jake a member of the royal guard for the princess” his introduction sound like he rehearse it a hundred times. No feelings at all. She let it pass.

“I see nice meeting you Jake” she said the words as if she really mean it. 

“This way Miss Mallore” she usher her to a black limo parked in a special place near the entrance. 

Well she knows she’s going to visit a very important person in Malaysia as the letter says but she never expect it to be a princess.

“I wish to see the letter miss Mallore.” He asked her in a flat tone of voice.
She doesn’t have any problem showing the letter but this stranger irritates her beyond her limit.

“look stranger, you should have asked that before you even let me sit in your so expensive princess limo” she said showing her irritation.

“I did not because I know who you are, I saw your picture and from the moment you board on that plane I put an eye on you, so cut being a bitch and show me the letter” He was the meanest man ever born.

What if I don’t?

Then I have no choice than to push you out of the limo.

Are you really that mean?

This is just a tip of it so don’t try your luck, the American charm don’t work on me.

Well I never know I even use it Mr. Stranger.

She took the letter from her bag and tried to aim it to his face. He was just lucky enough to catch it before it hit his face.

He reads the letter as if he’s looking for something, when he was satisfied he returned it to her, and whispered to the driver something which she understand "lets go".


The palace was really something he thought she can find in Europe and not in Asia. She feels like a kid lost in a candy store, so much choices from work of art to beauty beyond compare things inside.

She was ushered to a small room, small in a sense that it’s smaller than the other room; the room is twice the size of her living room.
They serve her tea in an obviously expensive tea set. She sits in a golden sofa and to her surprise the lady who serves her tea stands there as if waiting for her order. She doesn’t feel comfortable at all, She did not touch the tea at all.

“You can drink it there’s no poison in that tea” that was a voice from a lady who looks like in her late 20’s.

“I don’t mean to insult you ma’am it’s just that I don’t feel comfortable with all the people around me, I feel like any moment from now I will be in jail.” She said in a polite manner.

The lady just smile and motion everybody to get out of the room, but Jake did not do as the other did, he stand there like a statue and the lady seem not to mind.

Unlike the others who she meet on the plane this lady have a very good command in English, she can bet all her money in the bank this lady was educated abroad. 
“I can see you are the master of this house, not to be mean and impolite but I wish to know why you sent me the letter?” she wished she sounded polite.

“I can see you are straight forward lady and I like that” The voice was so low but she know she mean the other way around.

So am I

“Well I sent you the letter, but I want to know first why did you accept?” The lady asked.

“Well so I can presume that you are the one who sent me the letter, and as Jake said you are a princess. To answer your question, a free trip to south East Asia and a visit to a princess are just two of so many reason, the rest don’t matter and won’t make sense” she told her looking in her eyes without blinking.

I see, I sent you the letter just because I wanted to have the formula your sister created.

Wow that was so blunt, and why did you send it to me, why not to my sister?
Well just because we know she’s not interested on what we're going to offer.
What makes you think I will be interested and what makes you think I have the formula?

Well we are not sure but ever since the incident happens two years ago you were the one she trusted the most and still do. We don’t know if you have it or the Indian guy have it but were just trying our luck, I have a feeling that you can lead us to what we’re looking for.

So I can assume your men were the one who shot the poor Indian guy, Oh I don’t assume I’m sure! With what you told me what makes you think I can even tell you where it is if ever I have it or my sister have it, I could be talking to a cold blooded murderer.

“Watch your mouth young lady, you are talking to a princess” That was Jake
“Your princess Jake not my princess” she answered with anger in her eyes that if only it could kill he is a cold body now.

“Stop it Jake, I understand her anger” the princess said

“Of course you should, your life is not on the line” she said and she doesn’t care if who ever are in front of her.

“She’s not your sister; she’s not your flesh and blood”

“Well sorry but you have to know that I am not as cold blooded mammal as you are; now if you don’t have anything more to say let me get out of this fancy house of yours” she attempt to stand but Jake ordered her to sit down.

“We’re sorry if we don’t act like you expected us to do so, we are just so desperate to have a piece of that discovery, and someone’s life is on the line”

“You think I’m kind of a princess in a fairy tale, trying to save someone’s life and hoping to marry the prince, who am I saving? the king? Tell me! because one more word of a fairy tale and I’ll go crazy”

“You can go if you want to, but I sure hope you understand that my son is sick as hell and that formula is our last chance. I am hoping you can help us” the princess stands and attempt to leave the room.

“are you sure I wont go out of this house dead, or will I even reach home alive? How about the Indian guy?” She asked in sarcasm.

“He will live, we did not shot him to kill him” that was Jake

“Oh so you are telling me that poor boy has to thank you for not shooting the right spot?” she was more sarcastic than ever.

“you can leave but we can offer your sister a protection if ever she will help us” 
 That was Jake again

“are you kidding me, what makes you think you can do that, sure you are a royal guard what so ever but this is Malaysia and that is American, don’t try so hard to push on how good you are Jake, to the princess you are but to me you are just nothing”

“He’s not who he tells you he is, He’s my older brother he’s a prince” it was the princess again.

She was shocked, she feels like she’s about to go crazy, I though the only problem why her head is spinning is the jet lag, she’s getting even crazier with every word she don't even know if can she take it anymore.

“Yeah right, what else can shock me” she just said out of no words to say. She stands out of a sudden and she really can feel she’s so dizzy. The last thing that she remember is Jake calling her name…

To be continued (part Five) 

Note: thanks to Ivan (of Baguio Midland Currier) for helping me edit the story.

The Bernadette Series IV
"Teaching a Heart To Love"
Stephanie Choi

She was sleeping when Harish Woke up, she was not aware on that kind of look that he's giving him.

He studied her face, the perfect red lips, the perfectly shaped eyebrow and the nose. She could be the dream of any man alive if only she's not as cold blooded as she appears to be.


Monday, December 13, 2010

The Bernadette Series II

The Bernadette Series II
The Mystery of The Purse
Stephanie Choi

Didicated to Harish of India

I watch her as she flips the pages of the book silently; she appears to be innocent in all aspect. Her blue eyes tells you nothing but sadness and a thousand question of why, her long blond hair is the perfect picture of the phrase crowning glory.
She’s living a close to normal life so far.  She has been with me for two years, from the moment she was discharge from the hospital. She hardly talks but at least she’s talking unlike her first five months.

She’s 18 and I’m 29, its funny how time flies. The first time she drove her to Harvard was the hardest part of being close to this stranger, and yesterday was the happiest moment when she picked her up from the air port to have her spring vacation spent home.

She gave her choices, she can spend the spring break in Miami but Shella has chosen to stay close to a home she had found two years ago.

You might think I’m too generous to even send her to Harvard, well I’m not and with my pay check I can’t afford it, My step dad is sending him to school he though she has potential to be a criminal lawyer, which he failed to have in me. I don’t have hurt feelings about it, I love what I do best and somehow he’s happy for me. He could be jack ass in court but he’s sweet to me, though he know his blood is not running throw my vein he still considers me to be his flesh and blood.
Shella seems to notice me so she waved, she went inside and before I know it she is standing beside me with the book still in her hands. 

I though you are here for vacation?

Yes I am, it is spring break, remember? She smiles, I don’t know where she learned it but I guess the tragedy is starting to fade.
Yes spring break means vacation, So why are the books still in your hands?
Uhm! This? Putting the book in clear view nothing I just got nothing to do.
Why don’t we drive to the lake? I suggested which I think a bad Idea.

Do you think they already forgot what happen? I know she was talking about what happen two years ago.

Shella it was not your fault, I tried to hug her which she did not refuse.
Yes but people will be staring at me and you as well. I hate it when people do that.

Don’t worry, this is for sure just a small town and everybody knows everybody, but I know they don’t blame you about what happen, besides that was two years ago.

She cracks a smile “Okey I guess it’s about time to face my fear anyway”

It was pass five when they returned home from the lake, both exhausted but happy. She pulled to the drive when she saw Charlie with a fellow standing at their porch, they appear to be waiting for them.

She tosses the key to Shella and wave to Charlie.

Hi Charlie what brings you here?

Oh Hey, Berna, Shella, where have you been?

Oh been to the lake, she motion shella to go inside and make some coffee.

Who is this guy? Pointing to an obviously non American fellow.

Oh! This is Harish a student from Harvard. She came to see your sister.Yes that is true Shella is no longer a Smith, she’s now legally Mallore.

Charlie saw the bitch look in her eyes and he knows what it means.

Look Berna I’m sorry I know how bad this may look like but I’m jut trying to help this fellow, he said he needed it bad.

You should try to help your neighbors first Charlie. She motions both to have a seat.

What do you need her for boy?

First of all I’m not a boy I’m 22, and my name is Harish. I need her for my research. The young fellow is blunt and he like him that way, but it doesn’t mean she will allow it.

For your what?

He needed my research about the drug that I created two years ago that almost cause my life. His name is Harish Ahuja, a chemical engineering student, sophomore from the same school I am in right now.  He is Indian there is no doubt about that, though he have fairer skin compared to Indians in general I still know that he is. Am I right Mr. Ahuja. That was Shella no body notices that she is there and no body knows how long.

Oh! Yes indeed I never know I was that popular in school, he extended his hands in attempt to shakes hand with Shella.

I don’t shake hands with people I just know by name, and more to people I don’t like.

Shella distribute the coffee to them all and sit just beside her. Charlie on the other hand is speechless and so she was, she never thought Shella can be this bitch.

Both Charlie and Berna knew they are not needed in there so they excused them selves and went inside the house.

Did you know that she can talk like that? That was Charlie.

No never, I never hear her speak like that before; she is always shy and timid.
Well I guess that’s what they teach in Harvard.

Hey hold on! not all, remember I am from that school as well.

Oh yeah my apology your highness. Charlie bow like a knight which made her laugh.

Meanwhile out in the porch.

I know it’s not easy for you to give the chemical but if you’re not going to give it to people who can improve it and put it in real use then what for did you risk your life stealing it from the lab. I know the reason why you were shot and I know why you ended up here. You were supposed to meet my father, to give the drug since you suspected that somebody from the lab altered the formula. 

Yes and I did not expect that your father will double cross me and sell me to some other mob” Shella finished the sentence for Harish.

Harish bows his head in shame. 

I’m sorry about my father but I’m not my father. I’m different.

How can you be different from your father if you carry the same genes? Genes of a tyrant, I was willing to give it to your father for free just because I want to clear my name, I want to show the world that it can really cure cancer, but your father was a greedy man, he wanted to make money out of it.

That is the reason I am here, I want to ask for forgiveness and I want to make things right. I want to help you clear your name.

Too late I already cleared my name, I’m not miss smith anymore remember, I have a brand new life and I want to keep it that way. I found a family of my own someone I can run to. I hope you are not about to ruin that life like your father did to my old life. Besides what makes you think I still have the formula, if I have it then I could have sold it anywhere.

I know you can’t do that.

What makes you so sure? You don’t know me at all.

I know you are a good person and I know you can’t afford to be a reason of someone else’s misery. 

Stop the sweet talk Harish I don’t buy then, I stop buying them since the day I met your father.  As I told the news paper I lost the formula the moment I was shot. They believed me and so should you.

The thing is I don’t buy it either, I know you will keep looking for it if you lost it, but you did not.

I did, you just don’t know, as I’ve said you don’t know me. I went looking for about six months followed my trail but I did not find any. I bet your father took it after he shots me.

He did not shot you.

Okay let me rephrase my sentence then. After he ordered his man to shot me. “Satisfied”, but it looks like your father don’t have it, if he does he won’t send you as far as here to talk to me. Which makes me wonder why don’t he send his man again I know it will be easier, I doubt if you can even pull a trigger. 

Stop it! my father died a year ago, and he was sorry about what he did to you. He asked me to make it up to you.

Shella was shock but it doest show.

Well them his death is enough to make it up to me, tell his grave he may rest in peace.

I never though you are as cold blooded as this.

I learn it from your father Harish; blame it to the man who taught me everything I know.  I know you are just like your father; you are more interested in the formula more than making it up to me.  I know one when I smell one, your father taught me well. 

You can go now, I know where you checked in and I know you followed me from Harvard to here. Go and forget about everything, pretend you never meet me. You will never get anything from me. If you really want the formula I can start to study it again but this time it won’t be for free. I learn my lesson. Now go I don’t have anything else to say.

 Harish stands, I will be back Miss Mallore I hope next time you change your mind.

Is that a threat, well don’t waste your time, I’m already dead a long time ago, threat wont scare me. Not a single cell in my system.

She watches him walk to his car and disappear. That’s the time she feel relief, she can’t believe it herself but she’s a new person now. She took the mug and walk inside the house. She meets Charlie on her way in.

“He’s gone.

We saw it, I’ll be on my way as well. 

She nodded and then walked straight to the kitchen where she washed the cups. She went straight to her room and the moment she locked her door the lights were on. Sitting on her bed is her sister.

What are you doing here?

Is this what he came for?

Shella pretended she was shocked but Bernadette did not buy it.

I wonder why you never asked for it since the day you came home, you never mention about it. I though you forgot it but when I heard the conversation between you and that young fellow I realize there has to be a connection between this and that man.

Did you open it?

No I did not, I wanted to but I just don’t know why I can’t. What is with this purse?

I wish I can lie but I know you heard everything. That’s the original formula of the medicine I made that can cure cancer, but somebody on the lab altered the formula and during the time of the test it was found out that it can kill more than it can cure. I know it was altered because I tested the formula my self without anyone knowing. I was suffering from brain cancer and that was the formula that cured me.

So you broke into your own lab to steal the formula?

Yes, it was Harish father who told me he helped them altered but there is one remaining formula that has never been touched.  He asked me to steal it and put it into good use. I was young back then and still am, so I agreed but something happen along the way, I went earlier to the meeting place and found out that he was about to sell it to someone. I’m giving it to him for free and he’s going to sell it. I run but he saw me so he ordered his man to follow me. I was carrying two purses back then I throw the one purse to the lake, the same lake where we went. That is the one they followed but they already fired on me that’s the reason I was in your door step.

Why did you not ask for it when you went out the hospital?

Because you did not tell me, and I know you can keep it a secret.

How sure are you I can keep it a secret and why did you believe me that I did not open the purse.

Because I know it was not open since the time I closed it. If you turn the lock of the purse a chemical reaction will happen inside and the purse will turn red, as I can see it’s still colored yellow except the red blood drops.

"I see."

I know you won’t trust me anymore after this and maybe you regret keeping me. I may walk away right now if you want to but please don’t.  I already have a family please don’t take it away from me.” She begged

I wont, there are things I don’t understand, things that are not clear to me right now but one thing is for sure you are still my sister.

Thank you!” She’s already crying.

They hugged like they never hugged before.

"So what do you want me to do with this, burn it?"

No, we can use it someday, who knows, that is the original formula, and don’t try to put it in a deposit box. I am sure they are following us now. Just keep it where you use to keep it and don’t tell me where. It’s better that way.

You scared me.

I know but I also know the man behind Harish, he can kill if he wanted to. Glad that he’s dead.


His father!

You know him?

I have been to their place few times before, and I know how much he wanted to please the old man. He’s different now though, it looks like he develops a confidence.
You don’t like him do you.

Nor anyone in his family.

He looks fine to me, charming and innocent.

Don’t be fooled, they were train to be like that.

Are you?

No, not me I’m just a poor scientist who happen to have a brain of a genius.
Okey enough bragging hehe I know you are a genius.  I’ll go keep this one and you go re-heat the food and please call the pizza house. I feel like I want to celebrate something tonight. 

Okey….” And then she went off.

They were eating and laughing when they heard the door bell ring; looks like the finger of that person never leave the button. 

“Who’s there?” Bernadette Shouted.

It’s Charlie Berna, I have a bad news.

You always bring me bad news, what else is new?

Shella you know the Indian guy who came to visit you right?

Yes I do now why?

He’s in the hospital right now, he was shot at the lobby, the hotel where he checked in.

Both ladies were shocked.

She came to see you shella and I guess you are the only one who really know him. The police already notify his family but no one is taking care of him right now. I know this may sound ridiculous but maybe you can help him.

“I’m not interested,” shella walked away from the door. 

Shella maybe we can just check him out.

“You can go I’ll stay.” She’s stubborn this time.

Shella come on you know the guy, sure you can help.

“To whom do I own the favor?” She asked as if she’s ready to give up.
To me.

Fine let’s go….

Note: I Plan to continue this part on the fourth one. to tell you honestly I don't have any Idea how should I end this.... maybe i can learn if from your suggestion. I'm wondering it its a good Idea for Harish and Shella to be together.


A Letter To Harish,
hope you wont hate me for making your father a bad guy in this part of the story.  It's just fiction. :)
and sorry for nearly killing you hehe!

I decided to make the story longer than I plan to.

The Bernadette Series III
"A Letter From Malaysia"
Stephanie Choi

dedicated to balqis of Malaysia

It was her first time to set foot in an Asian soil and thanks god its not summer in Malaysia.

She arrived earlier than her schedule and she's expecting the person who will pick him to be five minutes late. But she was wrong, there she saw a guy in black suit standing there with her name on the card board. 

He don't look like the average south east Asian when it comes to height, and that is so obvious since he's standing there a few inches taller than the other people who are waiting.

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